The Changing the Sheets Triathlon, CST hereafter, is a grueling event that tests the metal, stamina, and ingenuity of all kittens who enter it. The CST always begins with the Racing Around, perhaps the most exciting part of this event. At completion of the Racing Around, the kitten will move on to the Advanced Getting in the Way. The duration of the Getting in the Way varies, depending on several different factors, including kitten-fatigue and human exasperation. The CST concludes with the Undercover Verification, a complex event with many nuances.
Racing Around (to come up behind me again in a Floydian manner)
The photos below will look to the casual observer like just more instances of the bad photography that runs rampant on this site. But they’re no such thing. What they are is examples of the classic kitten blur, where the kitten goes into hyperspace in the Racing Around and is neither here nor there but both places at once. Anybody who’s owned a kitten is familiar with this.
In the image below, you’ll see the CST commencing with the opening movements of the Racing Around. This must continue all over the top of the bed until the kitten is satisfied that it’s done correctly. This might take some time, and intervention is not advisable.
As the Racing Around progresses, style points are awarded to the kitten for achieving transparency of tail. Note how the stripes in the sheet can clearly be seen behind said kitten’s tail.
The photo below clearly shows that the kitten considers the Racing Around to be well and truly done. The kitten is slowing down and dropping back into normal space, ready to get down to business with the Advanced Getting in the Way. The kitten below, a top contender in this event, has saved a good reserve of energy to carry her all the way through the Getting in the Way to the Undercover Verification.
Getting in the Way
The Advanced Getting in the Way is progressing nicely in the photo below.
Undercover Verification – Is There a Cat or Not
Last, but not least, we come to the Undercover Verification. In this final event of the CST, the kitten contestant must insert herself into the bed between the top and bottom sheet. The objective in this event is to complete as many laps as possible, flipping around randomly upside down to right side up. Extra style points are given if the human observer can no longer tell for certain which way the kitten is facing. Extra style points are also given for moving backward instead of forward. The competitive pinnacle of the Undercover Verification is achieved if the kitten can move backwards while upside down. A human observer who see this is privileged indeed.
